I'm finally dialated

2 cm. if the baby doesnt come by monday, she is inducing me. its SO uncomfortable but i will miss feeling her inside me. So the douchebag is back at work. and my friend called me and told me most of the people are furious he's there and quite a few complained to the manager. the "manager" who is the worst fuckin manager ive ever seen, basically told my friend to deal with it, in so many words and that he is leaving when i get back. hes such a weasel. the second i leave he runs back. i really want to leave and let him just stay there. i dont even care anymore if hes there. i mean if i loved my job, i'd care but i dont. i was asked to send my resume to my friends brother in law who works DOWN THE STREET from me as a financial adviser. and he works alone. how great would that be. the only downside is he wants me to get my license. UGH. brutal. but if i can get paid to work down the street for someone who is actually an honorable person, who appreciates a hard worker, then great!

so remember my friend who got me the car? i never blog about him on here. im gonna have to start yet another one since this part time lover turned into my full time enemy. but my friend who has been here for me through this entire ordeal, who chooses to love me and be with me and support me and do everything in the world for me fully knowing i have another mans child inside me yet went to the ultrasound with me and bought me my crib and car seat/stroller/travel system.... he is the best thing that sever happened to me. (other than my daughters) i feel like all the assholes i loved with all my being, i have finally reaped what I have sown. everyone that meets him and knows him and I mean EVERYONE, tells me to marry him. especially my daughter. it has taken me a long time to accept the fact that someone wonderful loves me. i pushed it away for a year and he never left me and never gave up on me. he said i was worth waiting for. well, finally i have come to the point where mt feelings went from uncomfortable to comfortable as friends, to genuine feelings. we have NOT had sex, just fooled around 2 times and barely anything... but we have built it on friednship. i tell him i move him every day and i miss him when i dont see him. i plan on marrying him. i will have to blog about all the amazing things he does for me. like working overtime just to buy me groceries while i am on disability!!! and hes not even my "boyfriend." yeah, im gonna marry him. and have one more kid!! lol. he needs a boy.

as for the scumbag, i heard he looks awful and gained weight, aged, and looks depressed. GOOD. fuck him. i am the happy one, the blessed one, one at peace... he is in his dark cloud of misery and lies. Sad he could never be honest, and choose to do the right thing. ever. wait til he gets those bills. and projects his anger onto me. i just pray he leaves my baby alone. just stay out of our lives. and when my daughter asks him one day, why did you never want to see me? let him answer what a scumbag loser he is. and poor excuse for a man he is. maybe my friend/bf can just adopt her. whatever i'll cross that bridge when i come to it. as for now... i need to get this huge baby out! lol.