Monday, February 21, 2011
My Valentine Card
The last things MM said to me as he said goodbye for a week was: "When you miss me, reread my card! i meant every word I said. I love you"So I am going to write the card so you can get a glimpse of how he feels about me. You all know how I feel about him...
"Ok. Where do I start? You having entered my life two and a half years ago has changed it in oh so many ways. First off, you have made me stop and view the world in ways I never knew existed. You've made me have a kinder, gentler heart when I would normally have a colder heart with less feeling. You've made me realize that theres a much bigger world out there than the one I probably thought mostly revolved around me. Youve taught me about giving to others, and made me realize just how selfish I could be. You've also allowed me to realize the importance of spirituality, and how there is a greater power that that guides our thoughts and actions. I NEVER would have tapped into these things without you. I'm sorry that I dont say this enough, but you have changed my life in so many special ways, and you need to always remember that. You've created bright, vibrant colors to my life, where before there was a dark and dullness. You just have no idea how much you've opened my mind and eyes to see and experience things I never knew existed before I met you.
Most important of all, though, is that I have NEVER had someone who has loved me and cared for me the way you have. And there are so many times when I tell myself that I dont deserve to have someone like you that cares so deeply for me the way you do. You have no idea how special you make me feel, how loved you make me feel. You have shown me a depth of LOVE that just simply and absolutely blows me away. (drew a heart here) Honestly, I'd be lucky if i give you back a tenth of the love that you give to me. You need to know from the bottom of my heart, that I try to give you everything I can possibly give. And, I've said, you've pulled things out of me, and have touched me in places that i never knew existed. You have no idea how special and incredible that has made me feel. I can only hope that I have done the same for you.
You will always hold a special place in my heart. ALWAYS. I LOVE YOU (AND WILL ALWAYS)"
(and signed his name)
the only part i dont like is the last part "you will always hold a special place in my heart" it sounds as if he will never be with me but will always remember and love me. But when I mentioned that he'll never be with me he corrected me and told me about the separation. It would be so nice to be with him. With all his baggage and the mess of a life we have made for ourselves... I'd rather have that with someone I am in love with, than someone with no baggage who I dont love.
read my post from last year's Valentine's Day and it made me cry. How could he hate me after this by the birth of the most beautiful, sweetest girl in the world?
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