Maroon 5 - Misery

its over yet i still hang on

its really pathetic that I'm afraid to let him go but heres the reason. I have met so many people who marry the person who is "good for them" or who would make a good wife/husband but down the road they aren't happy. they aren't satisfied or fulfilled. im so afraid of pursuing this guy who is in love with me, Mike, because he's a safe guy. boring, safe, and way too into me. And the muffin man, we send funny emails back and forth each day, theres major attraction and chemistry, he makes me laugh every day, and even through the fighting and the bad, he still makes me crazy for him. i think i'm used to the dysfunctional relationships based on my past, but I don't want to lose someone I love SO deeply. Im sure you think I'm pathetic but I'd rather be alone than be with someone I dont love and cheat on them. Because I'm afraid I might be the cheater.


This is torture. At least he is in counseling and he brought his wife. Guess what will happen. He will get the proof he needs to say "I want out" but the thing i'm worried about is will I be there?  Probably not. I cant let myself be THAT pathetic! I'm just drowning in my own misery and pain, holding onto to something by its last thread.

and by the way.. this is what our relationship is like.  A little less violence, a little more love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g6g2mvItp4 (i posted it separately. dont know how to add it to a post)

Finally got a computer!

I got some good stories!!!


They involve the naughty places we had sex at work! I think we must be crazy. Or at least I am. The latest thing we did started at his desk. He was fingering me and I cannot believe how ridiculously soaking wet I was. And he barely did anything! When he took his fingers out there was so much it was as if he came on his own fingers.

We then snuck into the filing closet where we moved some boxes and had sex. God it was extremely difficult to stay quiet!!! I had him cum in my mouth because it was just safer that way. He was so excited at the fact that we were at work in a closet that he had a hard time NOT cumming too quickly. Please tell me thats normal for any
age.

I've been looking for other guys and slept with a couple other guys but no one does it for me like mm does. For now.  The best news I have about him though, is that after MUCH struggle and hard work, I finally got him to go to a therapist and he really likes him a LOT! I am so happy and thankful he has someone to talk to and open up to because until now, he had no one. And the weirdest part is, after a few sessions, I realized that I went to middle school with the guy! I remembered the name, pictured him in my head, and had him ask him if he was from my town. Sure enough I was right. How weird is that?

Thats all for now...  I miss everyone on here. havent been on here in a while!!!!