its really pathetic that I'm afraid to let him go but heres the reason. I have met so many people who marry the person who is "good for them" or who would make a good wife/husband but down the road they aren't happy. they aren't satisfied or fulfilled. im so afraid of pursuing this guy who is in love with me, Mike, because he's a safe guy. boring, safe, and way too into me. And the muffin man, we send funny emails back and forth each day, theres major attraction and chemistry, he makes me laugh every day, and even through the fighting and the bad, he still makes me crazy for him. i think i'm used to the dysfunctional relationships based on my past, but I don't want to lose someone I love SO deeply. Im sure you think I'm pathetic but I'd rather be alone than be with someone I dont love and cheat on them. Because I'm afraid I might be the cheater.
This is torture. At least he is in counseling and he brought his wife. Guess what will happen. He will get the proof he needs to say "I want out" but the thing i'm worried about is will I be there? Probably not. I cant let myself be THAT pathetic! I'm just drowning in my own misery and pain, holding onto to something by its last thread.
and by the way.. this is what our relationship is like. A little less violence, a little more love.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g6g2mvItp4 (i posted it separately. dont know how to add it to a post)
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1 comment:
You're not pathetic. Don't beat up on yourself. You are a loving person. Good luck in the future.
FD
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