been busy... and so tired

I have been so busy working and being exhausted with this pregnancy that i have not had any time to write or even read blogs. I finally thought of a name for the baby.  I prayed about it and asked God to help me. I had a feeling He answered back and let me know it would just hit me. I had a strong feeling about the first name that she was a Rachel. I LOVE the bible story about Rachel and Leah and how Jacob LOVED Rachel and worked 14 years on her fathers farm for her. I dont like how they competed with each other and their lives revolved around men. One man. Jacob. But I do love Rachel. And my baby feels like a Rachel. It means Peace of God. And the middle name that was stressing me out finally hit me. My mom's name. Frances. It means free!! And it means From France. If you know me at all you will know I love France, I want to move there, and I feel like I am from there. So that blew me away when I all of a sudden thought of it and decided to look it up. I suddenly felt peace and the wieght and worry of a name lifted off of me. Rachel Frances. Sounds like the 1930's or 40's too. Why i like it even MORE!

I posted this on my sister's fb wall about the name Rachel:



I was just reading the story of Rachel and Leah. omg how sad their lives were back then. it revolved around MEN! my favorite was when Rachel said to Jacob: GIVE ME A SON OR I WILL DIE! and he says, "AM I GOD?" That's actually amusing. the pathetic part is when Leah is like "oh! surely he will love me now! i gave him 4 sons!" So Rachel, who cant be outdone by her sister, gives him her servant to ha...ve more boys. And Leah does the same. I mean, how pathetic. their lives revolved around men! And they werent fulfilled unless their men loved them. Its about as pathetic as a wife who "supports" her husband when he cheated on her and was in love with another woman and never really loved her. How pathetic. Women need to focus on themselves and not men. (Thats what i am learning to do and I'm much better off.)

That last part was about the scumbag's PATHETIC wife who he DOES NOT love or respect! She has no respect for herself obviously. So what is she gonna do when the paternity test comes out positive? I dreampt of him last night that he was envious of me holding kissing and loving the baby. And he wanted to be a part of it but was still trapped in his "situation." Im sure thats how he will be. GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!

Guaranteed he comes back like they all do. Who else did? The dominican and a guy from a year ago I went out with ONCE. They all come back. All of them. I dont know why they do, they just do.  I must be very different than other women i guess. I have finally learned from my friend Mike how a man is supposed to treat a woman. Now that I have seen this I will never be with an asshole again. And Dickface is an asshole. I would never want to be with him again. I hope he comes back and regrets everything and feels like a damn fool. And i'll remind him of all the horrible things he did to me and all the great things i did for him. I still think about all the fun things we did and all the times we kissed and stuff and how much i truly loved him. Then I think about what a pathetic coward he is and how horribly mean and selfish he was and how he said such hateful things about my baby and I say good riddens you scum.

Anyway I am 31 weeks now! In only 6 weeks I will be full term! Can you believe that? Well heres a picture of my belly. :)