another letter from the lawyer

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No mercy

So heres the latest. I spoke to my lawyer regarding the nasty letter HIS lawyer sent mine. Apparently this scumbag is telling his lawyer and I'm sure everyone else for that matter, "the baby's not mine. She was sleeping around with multiple men at the same time and the last one wasn't mine either"

I cant even express how upset and disgusted I was. I have NO COMPASSION ANYMORE! NONE! I felt sorry for his pathetic ass? Now I couldn't care less. Wait til the paternity test is done and his wages are garnished. I hope nothing happens to him other than reaping 100 fold everything he's sown. I hope he continues to self-destruct. I have NO MERCY anymore!! Let his stupid pathetic wife who pathetically believes his lies and clearly has no idea what a liar, manipulator, and weasel he is, go be with him. One is more pathetic than the other!!

On a brighter note, you can go to my art facebook page and check out my art I am selling and "like" it if you like it. Its Ray Jay Portraits. Named after the baby: Rachel Jadon. I also am officially a Mary Kay consultant after using the product for myself and falling in love with it. I LOVE IT! My face feels amazing, the other women are so positive, and uplifting and encouraging.  I love the atmosphere when I am with them. I hope I can plow through enough to make good money from it.

So thats about it. Baby is healthy and strong and kicks and punches constantly. :) The princess doesn't like if my bladder has anything in it so she punches it until I empty it.

Thank you to the last anonymous reader who gave me good advice on protecting myself. I will do those things but I am not posting the comment so no one can see what it is you suggested. (for my own protection)  

He makes me sick to my stomach

How do you write and say and do such wonderful things to someone you are in love with and turn around and side with your wife, and hate me and turn other people on me to hate me as well? I dont get it. His lawyer he got after my lawyer sent him the letter, is the fucking brother of the fat bitch who tried to get me fired at work! His new little girlfriend. His wife is so stupid too. I want to send her the letters and cards he wrote me and the jewelry he sent me and say "you must be the stupidest person. Do you really believe his lies? You think I just pinned a pregnancy on him? Do you not know that he made me have an abortion last year? And that he told me he wanted a trial separation from you to be with me? And that he feels trapped with you??? Why dont read the stuff he wrote me before you judge me and side with that pathetic lying cheater you have for a husband??? You are pathetic!"  I cant even tell you how much I despise them both. And these other losers who want to hate me when they don't know me either.

And all this time i have said how i feel bad for him and worry about him? He not only went to Vegas for a long weekend, but got a new BMW? Seriously??? UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please GOD let his evil ways come back on him! Please God, bring life to your words when you said "vengeance is mine, saith the Lord!"  Let him get burned with his own fire and be my shield. Protect me when he tries to throw his evil daggers at me for greater is He that is in me than that weasel that's in the world!

He honestly scares me. He is filled with so much evil, rage, and hatred towards me, I have never felt hated by anyone before in my life. I was depressed all day because of it. I was nervous, couldnt sleep, and preoccupied all day. I hate him so much. And tomorrow I have to go back into the hell hole which i DESPISE for another brutal miserable week with all  the fucking assholes who think they are more important than anyone else! GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

Dreams

So the last 2 nights I had dreams about MM/DB. Two nights ago was a nightmare. I dreampt that he got majorly hurt 3 times. The first was a burn on his back, but it was his whole back and top of his butt. It was a serious burn though. Looking up what getting burned means:  indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore. Alternatively, it may suggest that you need to take time off for yourself and relax. Perhaps you are you feeling "burned out" or "burned up".I saw how bad his back was burned when he turned his back on me and walked away. And that means: To see a person turn their back on you, signifies that you will be deeply hurt. The second time I cant remember other than something happened to his butt again to misshape it. And the third time he and I were up really high on some kind of beam over a pool. He was  arguing with me and I was pleading with him to stop hating me and let me help him. But he kept running his mouth and saying words filled with anger and he was walkin backwards. I was trying to tell him to be careful that he was too close to the ege, but he wouldnt stop yelling at me to hear my warnings and he slipped and fell far down into a pool but he smacked the water on the pool and it misshaped his butt even more. He barely got out by the time I ran down to him. He was crying and I was hugging him. All I wanted to do was take care of him. But he refused me. He was too weak to speak and just cried but he managed to express somehow either by words or actions that he didnt want me around. I was not only heart broken but worried more than ever about him. This dream haunted me all day.


Mishsapes buttocks means: To dream that your buttocks are misshaped, suggest undeveloped or wounded aspects of your psyche. To fall: To dream that you fall and are frightened, indicates a lack of control, insecurity, and/or lack of support in your waking life. You may be experiencing some major struggle and/or overwhelming problem.  The meaning of seeing him cry is very interesting:
To see someone else crying in your dream, may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.

hmm... really? I am projecting my own feelings on him? Maybe. It would be regret and sadness that it turned out this way. Maybe I wish he would be upset ab US and not just his own life and his family. And that upsets me that he doesnt care about me the way I care about him. But how about the rest of the dream? Pretty damn accurate. I KNOW he is experiencing all those emotions.

Last nights dream was a dream where I was still in his life and he was nice to me. Well, I ean he let me back in after all this. I was at his house and he was telling me how unhappy he was and how bad his marriage had become but then I saw on the TV, his wife with his mother and sister all sitting at a Yankees game together having a great time laughing and smiling. He was supposed to join them. So I guess he decieved me again in that dream. Making me think he's doing so bad but really it was ok. Making me think his marriage was bad but really they were fine. Kind of like our whole relationship was. He made me think he would be with me but really had no intentions of ever leaving her. It was really sad. Maybe God is telling me: "he does not care about you the way you want him to. He is very angry, doesnt want your help, and is drowning in his own guilt and anguish. He has no inentions of leaving his wife so dont trust him."

I cant get over him. I cant stop loving him, and I cant stop worrying about him and caring about him. I know I probably shouldnt care about him but I do. If you ever read this blog when I talked about how I felt about him and saw the depth of love I had for him, you'd understand how I feel now. Now I wonder if it was all a waste. Well, maybe not. My baby girl will change my life and we never know what will happen in the future. Maybe he needed something like this to get him out of a miserable situation. Not saying he will be with me but he will be away from his miserable life and start a new one.  Maybe not. Maybe his wif will finally realize he is NOT HAPPY! DO SOMETHING!!! Anyway these are the things on my mind today. My baby kicks so much she wakes me up numerous times throughout the night and this morning at 6am. I dont mind though because I am constantly reminded how many women will do anything to get pregnant and still cant get pregnant. I am truly blessed and I am enjoying every minute of it! Plus, I am in love with the sweety.
Happy Independence Day!  I am so happy to be single and independant!!!