work SUCKS

Well its 4am and Im wide awake. I cant sleep these days. I wake up every night around the same times. You can always count on 4:30am that I will be awake. I cant get comfortale when I sleep either. Im always too hot, or I want to sleep on my stomach, but mostly I am filled with anxiety because someone at work has upset me to the point hwere I am either IN tears, or almost in tears! These fuckin assholes are the worst people to work with. They are all miserable, they talk tdown to me like I'm an idiot, even though I get their work done, and they are just generally disrespectful. The girl on maternity leave has the worst 3 guys to work for. They are the ones who give me problems! They arent even MY guys!

1. Bipolar guy:
One day he's buying me lunch, being nice, saying thank you etc. The next day he's talking down to me like I'm an idiot. Right now he's in "nice guy" mode.

2.Overcompensater:
This asshole is the worst. He does shady business, has shady clients, and is the type of guy that is always bragging. Like for example: "I took my girlfriend away for the weekend in the Hamptons. We stayed at a beautiful p[lace on the water for $1000. Then we went out to dinner and I bought wine and we spent a couple hundred on dinner. I also bought her some clothes for $500.. and blah blah blah... everything has a price tag. We can all see right through you, idiot! We all know you get your self worth by how much you can spend!
Not only do we NOT care how much you spent, but we dont care about your stupid love life with the woman you cheated on your wife with for months before getting a divorce! AT LEAST he got a divorce!  That's more than I can say for the douchebag. Anyway this asshole nitpicks everything I do. Last week he yelled at me for asking the manager for help with something I was trying to email the asshole because HE IS NEVER IN THE OFFICE TO GET ANYTHING HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! Because hes off doing shady shit all day. Today he was furious at me bc I wrote to his client in an email that I didnt have a working number to call her at. She couldnt have cared less but he had to make a point to call me, since ya know hes never there, and not ONLY talk down to me and correct me but he had the audacity to tell me I have to email him him first what im sending his clients before I email them. I said ok so when I call them, I have to call you first and recite to you what Im going to say? and he said yes. Well then I guess I cant communicate anything to any of his clients then. I cant answer his phones either because God forbid I might say something wrong.   Tell me that's not the most asshole fucking thing to say to me! I already complained to one manager, now I have to put it all in writing to H.R. There's no way I'm working for him for the next 3 weeks. Not if I am being monitored with phone calls and emails. No way. He can get his shady asshole demeaning self in the office and deal with his own clients and do his own fucking work! Tell me this guy is not the biggest asshole to work for! He is also the one person who went around the whole office telling people I was pregnant and whose it was and then tries to be HIS friend! DB is so stupid to fall for that. I would have warned him but he deserves to be betrayed. He did it to me and his wife so he can get it back.

3 Dr. Gloom
This one is the most miserable human being I've ever met. His negative energy is stifling. If you have too long of a conversation with him, you either want to commit suicide, or you cant breathe because his negative energy almost chokes you. Like a weight on your chest. Everything he needs you to do is a fuckin emergency! He will stand over you with papers talking to you when you are on the phone WITH A CLIENT I MIGHT ADD, as if the paper in his hand is on fire! God forbid you dont drop everything to hear what he needs. Examples of his urgent requests: to send a check out in 3 days from the time he is asking, to call a client to access them online,  or to do personal stuff for him. NONE OF WHICH ARE A FRIGGIN EMERGENCY!
The thing that upsets me the most though is that when I get say "ok but this is not an emergency, you could have waited 2 minutes for me to finish the conversation I was on" he then tells me, and I QUOTE, "you dont do anything all day anyway!" THen in his serious conversations he likes to have with me he tells me how I shouldnt be surprised if they let poeple go and I'm one of the first because I am not licensed and.. I dont dop anything all day anyway. How the fuck does he know what I do? He shuts himself in his office talking on personal phonecalls all day crying about how horrible his home life is. And one of the poeple he most recently spoke to? the douchebag himself! And the 2 of them ripped me apart. This mother fucker actually accused me of keeping the baby to steal doucghebag's money! WHAT MONEY??? Douchebag has asked payroll to NOT take out his federal taxes and state taxes for the the last 7 or 8 paychecks! I guess he cant afford camp and a 2011 BMW convertible and a 2011 new SUV Acura after all can he?

I love how he told me over and over "I cant afford to help you with this child." yet he pays $20,000 for camp, and 1150/month on car payments alone. That doesn't count the insurance, the mortgage, the bills, the clothes for his kids, the $400 watch he buys himself to do his triathlons, etc. I remember one time he told me he was bad at managing money, but I didnt realize he was that bad. I can see why he is a nervous wreck praying to God this isnt his kid so he doesnt have to pay. Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to show off with a new BMW you cant afford? If he is making around 100,000/year and is NOT paying federal taxes for 4 months, how much do you think he is going to owe at tax season? And where does he think this money is going to come from? But the best is, its all my fault right? Everything is all MY fault bc I didnt murder another child.

Speaking of, I am getting really nervous! I am 35 weeks pregnant now. Full term in only 2 weeks. I am still just so exhausted thinking about starting ALL OVER AGAIN. My baby shower is this Saturday. The best part of that will be that my 2 sisters will be there, my mom, and friends from high school. Also, my uncle is coming to see us all. I love him. Thank God I have family support. I'm nervous also because out 60 things on my registry, only 7 were bought. I need so many things and I have no money for them. I have to use half my savings on the lawyer. The only thing that keeps me strong and keeps me going is remembering how when I prayed about it 8 months ago as I cried to God, I remember seeing His hand touch my womb and feeling as if though He said He planned this and HE had created the baby and created her with a purpose. I now think one of the reasons was to get me away from someone who was using me and leading me on. Someone who was wasting my life away and I was missing out on meeting someone else whom I could be happy with, because I was too busy giving my heart to an undeserving cheater. Which is why I am giving the baby a middle name that means "free." She set me free from a lying, cheating coward.

I need to really figure out what I'm going to do about a job, who is going to watch my baby, or if I'll take another baby in... I have no idea. I have to have faith it will all work out. But I am certainly not going to put up with these assholes much longer. 3 more weeks of work and I'm fuckin out of that hell hole. AT LEAST for 3 months.

And Im still wide awake... Now Im going to be exhausted tomorrow. Awesome.