Tuesday was muffin man's birthday. He came over after work for a couple hours because a. We never got to go to lunch and b. I wanted to spoil him and destress him like i usually do. He's been really stressed about his dads health and his family being neurotic about it. I felt horrible that it happened on his birthday but my feelings couldn't be contained any longer. For weeks I've been holding in my pain and anxiety about us. I finally bursted into tears telling him I can't do this anymore and we need to break up. I told him everything I said in the last post. He was heartbroken but because I am so completely in love with him I wiped my tears and kissed him all over and took care of him like I love to do. After all it was his birthday and I friggin broke up with the poor guy!! He said I didn't ruin it and he was amazed how much I love him that I always think of him.
Next day is wednesday. I told him we need to go see my therapist together (remember he knows her) and he had told me he would one day. I called her and asked her to move my appointment to that day if possible and told him he is going. I said you'd be at the gym at 6 so you're coming to see her with me at 6. End of story.
And he did! I was shocked. And not only that he couldn't have been more open! Long story short, she pulled out of him what he wants in this relationship and he told us he wanted to make it work and expressed how much I mean to him and how much he loves me. He asked me if I could wait for him to sort things out but without the promise that I would definitely be with him. I couldn't answer that. I said what if I wait and you tell me you're gonna work things out with your wife and you can't see me anymore? I asked him do you have any idea how that would crush me?
He promised to continue going with me and sort this all out. Clearly he loves me and quite frankly I was shocked. Seemed like a dead end to me. It meant a lot.
Now my next problem is the other guy I've been hanging out with!!!! This is getting sticky...
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3 comments:
You've heard the expression "Don't quit your day job"? Well I think you owe it to yourself to see where things go with this other guy.
He is keeping his options open, and you have the right to do that too. And you do not owe him any explanation for doing that.
Yeah, it is sticky. Life is messy.
Don't go back to him... whatever you do. DON'T DO IT!!!!
You deserve better than that!! He has said he may be with you but he may not... what kind of promise is that???
Keep seeing this available man and give yourself a chance at happiness.
I stand by my previous comment. If he really loved you, then you being happy would be more important to him than having you at his beck and call.
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