Saturday, January 29, 2011
please go to other blog today
I had too much stuff on my mind so I posted over on today's "F-ed" up thought. Would love your opinions. Especially Rafa...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
His Mother Knows...
Let me start off with this. He went to see his parents in December and took my journal I gave him so he could read some stuff I wrote about him. Dreams I had, my personal entries of how I feel and how much pain I am in, and things psychics have told me that were incredible. VERY PERSONAL STUFF I would only let HIM see. He never got a moment alone to read it so he hid it. Then LEFT IT THERE BY MISTAKE! I am still waiting for his mother to mail it. "My mother won't read it. If I say please mail it back but don't read it, it's someone's personal journal, she won't read it." "Are you out of your mind??? Shes a woman, she's a yentah, and she's your mother! She's reading it! Good luck with that!"
This last month he's been pulling me back in and coming on so strong, like I said. Skipping most of the detail, because I don't feel like writing a book, we went to Friday's for a drink after work on Thursday with some other coworkers. I drove him there so I could be alone with him for the short amount of time there and back. He wanted to skip it and go to my house but I said no. We went to dinner and had a great time. Afterwards, I drove him back but we mutually wanted to park somewhere and have sex. I just wanted to kiss him so badly and feel his body against mine. I haven't felt him on me in a long time. So we ended up having sex crammed in my car. Me on top of him on the passenger seat. I held back my tears at one point because I love him so much. I held onto his neck so tightly he started to laugh and said "you're choking me" he knew I was trying not to cry. "you're afraid of losing me aren't you?" he asked. "mmm hmm," i mumbled in his neck as i sniffed.
Next night I have my therapist. I have 2 hours to kill after work so I asked him to go get a drink with me again so we could talk. So we go and talk about everything! He told me how his client was telling him his daughter was getting divorced and how he firmly believes in NOT staying married for the kids. And MM told me he didn't think that was a coincidence at ALL that he spoke about that. He talked about how he is scared of getting a divorce because of his fear of losing his kids' love and how he wants to live with me and do all the things we want to do together. He said "you know I will lose half of all my money right?" "I dont care! We'll make money together!" "I'll have to give half away, you know that right?" "dont care" "you love me that much huh?" "I do"
I told him "I think you really need to tell someone already. I think you need to tell your mother whats going on." "are you crazy? my mother?" "yes! she loves you more than anyone in the whole world. And you need to get this out in the open already!" We end up talking for so long that I missed my session.
Saturday morning.
He comes over. He has not been over in months! I couldnt wait for him to make love to me because I know how he feels about me the way he kisses me. During the foreplay, my mind was racing. I was feeling guilty and thinking about my new guy (who is not my actual boyfriend yet, but he still trusts me and I feel awful) I was thinking about his wife, and about if I should be with him, will I be with him, will he get cold feet, will he really follow his heart, etc. The moment he became one with me it was the most amazing experience of my life. We are one spirit soul and body. I felt so connected with him and so close to him and like we belonged together. I was totally in love. I was sucked right back in the web I've been in.
Monday morning we are at work. Everything's fine. The phone rings, I pick it up. It's his mother. "hello dear. is my son there?" we chit chat for a moment and he picks up. I do not notice the conversation until he shuts his office door and starts yelling on the phone "YOU READ IT? I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" My heart starts pounding and I am so nervous. Please do not tell me she read my EXTREMELY personal journal! I eavesdrop on this hour and a half long phonecall and there is no doubt in my mind this is what happened. I heard him talking about his wife, about me, about his kids. Oh my fucking god. What am I going to do now? Should I talk to him? Should I not talk to him? Should I bring it up? Should I not? Finally I send him a text: she read my journal didn't she? Finally when he gets off, he is sighing, slamming papers, not saying a word. I said "are you ok?" "yeah" "was I right?" "yep. It's ok though"
Finally I speak briefly to him about it at the end of the day because I knew he wouldn't want to talk about it. We tried to focus on work. He told me she wasnt mad. She wasnt surprised. She knew he has been unhappy the last 7 years. And her biggest concern was the turmoil he is in. "I told you she read it! And dont you find it interesting that I felt in my heart you should talk to her and she called 3 days later?"
Not only did he get this phonecall yesterday, he had a fever. He was sick yesterday and today with a stomach virus I most likely gave him. So its hard to read him because my first reaction is "he hates me. He's going to push me away again just like he has been." But I cant tell if he is, or if it's all in my head because I expect the rejection, or if he's just sick! It's torture. I emailed his therapist whom he has not seen in over a month bc of insurance issues, and said please call him. He desperately needs you right now. He set up an appointment with him thank god.
Meanwhile I have my new man, who lives far away and I barely get to see him. I miss him terricbly. I am so needy of attention and affection it's a little ridiculous. But he is so patient with me and sweet to me. Our relationship is very surfaced rgiht now but I think all relationships staret that way, dont they? You get closer in time? I feel like I am not giving it 100% becasue I am still in love with this one! But to be brutally honest wiht you and myself, my biggest fear in life is that I will end up old and alone. I am scared that if I break away form MM, I will lose him forever. And I dont know if I'll find someone else forever. The new guy my not be the one either. I just don't want to lose MM because if he does go through with a divorce, I know i'll be happy with him. But then again can you really know that after two years? I dont know. Can you? I'm in turmoil....
This last month he's been pulling me back in and coming on so strong, like I said. Skipping most of the detail, because I don't feel like writing a book, we went to Friday's for a drink after work on Thursday with some other coworkers. I drove him there so I could be alone with him for the short amount of time there and back. He wanted to skip it and go to my house but I said no. We went to dinner and had a great time. Afterwards, I drove him back but we mutually wanted to park somewhere and have sex. I just wanted to kiss him so badly and feel his body against mine. I haven't felt him on me in a long time. So we ended up having sex crammed in my car. Me on top of him on the passenger seat. I held back my tears at one point because I love him so much. I held onto his neck so tightly he started to laugh and said "you're choking me" he knew I was trying not to cry. "you're afraid of losing me aren't you?" he asked. "mmm hmm," i mumbled in his neck as i sniffed.
Next night I have my therapist. I have 2 hours to kill after work so I asked him to go get a drink with me again so we could talk. So we go and talk about everything! He told me how his client was telling him his daughter was getting divorced and how he firmly believes in NOT staying married for the kids. And MM told me he didn't think that was a coincidence at ALL that he spoke about that. He talked about how he is scared of getting a divorce because of his fear of losing his kids' love and how he wants to live with me and do all the things we want to do together. He said "you know I will lose half of all my money right?" "I dont care! We'll make money together!" "I'll have to give half away, you know that right?" "dont care" "you love me that much huh?" "I do"
I told him "I think you really need to tell someone already. I think you need to tell your mother whats going on." "are you crazy? my mother?" "yes! she loves you more than anyone in the whole world. And you need to get this out in the open already!" We end up talking for so long that I missed my session.
Saturday morning.
He comes over. He has not been over in months! I couldnt wait for him to make love to me because I know how he feels about me the way he kisses me. During the foreplay, my mind was racing. I was feeling guilty and thinking about my new guy (who is not my actual boyfriend yet, but he still trusts me and I feel awful) I was thinking about his wife, and about if I should be with him, will I be with him, will he get cold feet, will he really follow his heart, etc. The moment he became one with me it was the most amazing experience of my life. We are one spirit soul and body. I felt so connected with him and so close to him and like we belonged together. I was totally in love. I was sucked right back in the web I've been in.
Monday morning we are at work. Everything's fine. The phone rings, I pick it up. It's his mother. "hello dear. is my son there?" we chit chat for a moment and he picks up. I do not notice the conversation until he shuts his office door and starts yelling on the phone "YOU READ IT? I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" My heart starts pounding and I am so nervous. Please do not tell me she read my EXTREMELY personal journal! I eavesdrop on this hour and a half long phonecall and there is no doubt in my mind this is what happened. I heard him talking about his wife, about me, about his kids. Oh my fucking god. What am I going to do now? Should I talk to him? Should I not talk to him? Should I bring it up? Should I not? Finally I send him a text: she read my journal didn't she? Finally when he gets off, he is sighing, slamming papers, not saying a word. I said "are you ok?" "yeah" "was I right?" "yep. It's ok though"
Finally I speak briefly to him about it at the end of the day because I knew he wouldn't want to talk about it. We tried to focus on work. He told me she wasnt mad. She wasnt surprised. She knew he has been unhappy the last 7 years. And her biggest concern was the turmoil he is in. "I told you she read it! And dont you find it interesting that I felt in my heart you should talk to her and she called 3 days later?"
Not only did he get this phonecall yesterday, he had a fever. He was sick yesterday and today with a stomach virus I most likely gave him. So its hard to read him because my first reaction is "he hates me. He's going to push me away again just like he has been." But I cant tell if he is, or if it's all in my head because I expect the rejection, or if he's just sick! It's torture. I emailed his therapist whom he has not seen in over a month bc of insurance issues, and said please call him. He desperately needs you right now. He set up an appointment with him thank god.
Meanwhile I have my new man, who lives far away and I barely get to see him. I miss him terricbly. I am so needy of attention and affection it's a little ridiculous. But he is so patient with me and sweet to me. Our relationship is very surfaced rgiht now but I think all relationships staret that way, dont they? You get closer in time? I feel like I am not giving it 100% becasue I am still in love with this one! But to be brutally honest wiht you and myself, my biggest fear in life is that I will end up old and alone. I am scared that if I break away form MM, I will lose him forever. And I dont know if I'll find someone else forever. The new guy my not be the one either. I just don't want to lose MM because if he does go through with a divorce, I know i'll be happy with him. But then again can you really know that after two years? I dont know. Can you? I'm in turmoil....
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I'm totally confused
He is coming on SO STRONG, telling me how much he loves me and wants to get a divorce to be with me because he can't stnad losing me for a minute. I cried today because I feel like i fell for it AGAIN but had to remind myself when push comes to shove he wont! And i am going to be alone again.
And the new guy is in Mexico, tellin me some sketchy stuff... I dont trust either of them. I dont even know what I want now ro what to do. Im not only confused, but a little depressed too.
I wish I could see the future and know what to do.
And the new guy is in Mexico, tellin me some sketchy stuff... I dont trust either of them. I dont even know what I want now ro what to do. Im not only confused, but a little depressed too.
I wish I could see the future and know what to do.
Monday, January 10, 2011
im so in love
Okay, well ya know, not literally in love... but you know what i mean
It hasnt even been a week since i last saw him and he was going to mexico for 2 weeks. Said he is doing what he needs to do (work wise) and coming to see me Thursday. Which makes his trip from 2 weeks down to 3 days. To see ME instead of the beacjh in Cancun. Can you imagine? Its been a week since I saw him. A week feels like 3 weeks. I video chatted with him and the second I saw his face i got butterflies! I forgot how friggin CUTE HE IS!!!! oh my god.
And the muffin man is all desperate trying to suck me back in... he's making it difficult. Will expand on this later.
My therapist said today "what is the right thing to do? think about it. Whats right for you?" She also said "he is making sacrifices and flying to see you every week. It makes you feel special right? Imagine, this is just the very beginning!"
I didnt even think about that.
So happy...
And she said, as for the mm, "hes saying hes thinking about marrying you now, and how he's going to do it. well first of all, why is he thinking about it NOW? he didnt think about it all along? and thinking means nothing. DOING is something else. Let him prove it."
It hasnt even been a week since i last saw him and he was going to mexico for 2 weeks. Said he is doing what he needs to do (work wise) and coming to see me Thursday. Which makes his trip from 2 weeks down to 3 days. To see ME instead of the beacjh in Cancun. Can you imagine? Its been a week since I saw him. A week feels like 3 weeks. I video chatted with him and the second I saw his face i got butterflies! I forgot how friggin CUTE HE IS!!!! oh my god.
And the muffin man is all desperate trying to suck me back in... he's making it difficult. Will expand on this later.
My therapist said today "what is the right thing to do? think about it. Whats right for you?" She also said "he is making sacrifices and flying to see you every week. It makes you feel special right? Imagine, this is just the very beginning!"
I didnt even think about that.
So happy...
And she said, as for the mm, "hes saying hes thinking about marrying you now, and how he's going to do it. well first of all, why is he thinking about it NOW? he didnt think about it all along? and thinking means nothing. DOING is something else. Let him prove it."
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I cant believe it
I met someone new. And I have no desire to kiss or touch the muffin man. (and in response to the last post's comments, no i was NOT trying to trap him. I am just careless and a fool and I learned my lesson. Im getting an IUD thing)
Here is the story.
I went to Vegas with my gay friend. We flew to Phoenix where we had an hour layover. We went to get something to eat and my friend pointed out a "hot army guy." I turn around to look and all I saw was this tall dark and handsome guy next to him. "hes not cute. But his friend is gorgeous" I went to get a soda and I almost walked into him. My face could only see his chest as he is 6'1" and I am only 5'3". He said "excuse me" as i could barely talk... i just watched him walk by flustered. Goodbye hot guy. I'll never see you again.
We go to the gate where a hysterical young woman comes running up to me. We just learned our gate was moved to another gate. She can barely speak as she gasps for air. "you dont understand! I just missed my flight I cant miss another one!" "okay dont worry," i said, as I put my arm around her, "follow me and I'll get you where you need to go. We wont miss it. We have plenty of time" I brought her to the gate where she collapsed on the floor in relief. I went next door to buy her a water and a magazine. When i brought it back I let her tell me about her kids at home and the story of how she missed the flight etc. I consoled her, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and got up. "I'm Jill by the way" We introduced ourselves, and i went to sit with my friend.
As we sat on the plane in our seats, front row of coach, we watched a lot of people come on. There was a rowdy guy behind me. Jill came on and waved and said, "Hi! I'm much better thank you so much!" I replied, "Good! you look great Jill!" "Do I look great?" I hear from Mr. Rowdy behind me. "Oh you look FANTASTIC!" Now we have the attention of all the people around us who are chuckling at our conversation. We proceeded to point out all the hot men and women boarding, as we whispered comments. I said "WAIT until you see this HOT GUY comin on the plane! Tall dark and handsome!" (I saw Mr. soda machine waiting at our gate.) I'm waiting and waiting and FINALLY he comes on. The rowdy guy knew immediately who it was! He points and whispers "is that him?" I nod and mouth back "thats him!"
"excuse me!" he calls out to the hot guy. "uh, she thinks youre hot!" and points to me. "who thinks I'm hot?" "ME! OVER HERE!" I call out as I wave my hand up like I'm in school being called on. He looks at me and asks, "whats your name?" "___" "He reaches his hand out to shake mine and says "nice to meet you, ___ , I'll speak to you after the flight" "okay! but you gotta see me with nice clothes on and make up on and stuff! I look kinda crappy now" "oh thats ok, I dont even have a change of clothes<" he says. "YOU DONT NEED CLOTHES!" i call out as he walks back to his seat. Everyone on the plane in earshot laughs out loud. "Yep," Mr. Rowdy says, "shes goin to Vegas all right! You're definitely gonna have a good time"
I get off the plane and walk sloooowly hoping he'll come talk to me. But then I say to myself, oh please hes not coming, and we walk a little faster now. All of a sudden he come sup to me from behind. We trade numbers and I find out hes not even gonna be in Vegas! He's from North Carolina. I'll never see him again. But wait! I remember our plane has a layover on the way back at none other than Charlotte, NC where he's from! "let me see your tickets" he says as I find out he works for the airline. "If you remember me after your Vegas trip, I'll meet you at the gate in Charlotte."
We texted each other the whole trip, he met us at the gate with starbucks and upgraded our tickets to first class. I spent an hour with him and he sent me back to my gate as he was supposed to be working! He even had me paged at the gate where he called me on the phone. He was just so cute. "Hello Beautiful" I hear on the other end. He made me feel very special that day.
I have not stopped communication with him since the airport and he came to visit new years eve until tuesday night. My racist, prejudiced, homophobic, judgemental mother was staying with me until Sunday and she made is horrible. I thought for sure he would have left on Saturday. She wouldnt acknowledge him. Wouldnt say a word. We slept at my friends house Saturday night to be away from her. I had to leave him there where he was welcome while i taught Sunday School. When I came home, I got in a big fight with my mom as she tried to come up with reasons to hate him. "I cant believe you would bring home some random BLACK guy who is clearly only using you for sex! He'll probably get you pregnant or give you AIDS!" "HES NOT BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! H E IS NOT BLACK!!! Get it through your head! He's dominican! And so what if he WAS black? I thought he was black at first, didnt bother me!" I had to defend myself and him over and over and over. Yes i saw his ID, and I saw his badge at work, and he went to college, and he has his own money, and he bought you your sandwich, and works for the government for the airline therefor he is not a murderer, hes NOT BLACK, hes NOT a liar, hes NOT married, he is NOT using me for sex, etc etc. I was so mad at her I was screaming and crying and had to leave. She has now made it her mission to find something wrong with him.
My friends all tell me he's too young, or he's just a rebound guy, or he lives too far, it will never work, or this won't last so just have fun for now. My mother is clearly against it, and muffin man is freeeakking out. He wants me so badly now... please. Now that I am moving on you want me??? Seriously??? The other men in my life are all also very jealous. When he came to visit I was so happy. We both were! He makes me feel like a woman. He is the personality that he takes control with the "manly" things like driving and paying for things, and holds me when I cry, and tells me how beautiful I am. And he likes when I take care of him by making him dinner or giving him a vitamin or cuddling with him and warming him up when hes cold. When he left he sent me a text message that said "I need my vitamin" He said he wants me to come visit him so I can paint all day and rest. And let him take care of me.
This new guy is a dream. And the sex is incredible. He does all the things I have BEGGED the other guys to do and wouldnt do it or couldnt. He is rough and I love it! And he kisses me passionately. I know how he feels about me in his kiss. It changed as the days went on. He flew his sister up Monday night and we went out. The 2 of them have texted me "I miss you" and his sis said "he NEVER introduces me to any girls! I was shocked"
This week at work, the muffin man has been nasty because he is freaking out he's losing me and cant control his emotions. Well I told him, "guess what douchebag! This is how I have felt every single day the last two years of my life!" I had no desire to kiss him or touch him. The feelings dissipated. I'm so happy with the new guy I have no desire to lust after, love, or date anyone else. It was love at first sight...at the soda machine. (kidding) Not sure how to handle the mm at work though. He kissed me today and I was kind of MAD! I pulled away. I told him "how dare you. You want to pull me back to you to this dead end situation? and keep me in this pain when i found someone to make me happy?" he got mad and stormed away. I told him "too little, too late buddy. I told you you'd regret it."
I have never had so many people hating on my relationship with someone I am happy with! Not sure what to think of it. I had a good feeling in my gut about him and he told me his mother taught him to never pass up an opportunity because you never know what will happen. I am thankful he followed that advice. We make each other very happy. I will post the picture of us for a couple days and then I am taking it down. Tell me what you think.
Here is the story.
I went to Vegas with my gay friend. We flew to Phoenix where we had an hour layover. We went to get something to eat and my friend pointed out a "hot army guy." I turn around to look and all I saw was this tall dark and handsome guy next to him. "hes not cute. But his friend is gorgeous" I went to get a soda and I almost walked into him. My face could only see his chest as he is 6'1" and I am only 5'3". He said "excuse me" as i could barely talk... i just watched him walk by flustered. Goodbye hot guy. I'll never see you again.
We go to the gate where a hysterical young woman comes running up to me. We just learned our gate was moved to another gate. She can barely speak as she gasps for air. "you dont understand! I just missed my flight I cant miss another one!" "okay dont worry," i said, as I put my arm around her, "follow me and I'll get you where you need to go. We wont miss it. We have plenty of time" I brought her to the gate where she collapsed on the floor in relief. I went next door to buy her a water and a magazine. When i brought it back I let her tell me about her kids at home and the story of how she missed the flight etc. I consoled her, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and got up. "I'm Jill by the way" We introduced ourselves, and i went to sit with my friend.
As we sat on the plane in our seats, front row of coach, we watched a lot of people come on. There was a rowdy guy behind me. Jill came on and waved and said, "Hi! I'm much better thank you so much!" I replied, "Good! you look great Jill!" "Do I look great?" I hear from Mr. Rowdy behind me. "Oh you look FANTASTIC!" Now we have the attention of all the people around us who are chuckling at our conversation. We proceeded to point out all the hot men and women boarding, as we whispered comments. I said "WAIT until you see this HOT GUY comin on the plane! Tall dark and handsome!" (I saw Mr. soda machine waiting at our gate.) I'm waiting and waiting and FINALLY he comes on. The rowdy guy knew immediately who it was! He points and whispers "is that him?" I nod and mouth back "thats him!"
"excuse me!" he calls out to the hot guy. "uh, she thinks youre hot!" and points to me. "who thinks I'm hot?" "ME! OVER HERE!" I call out as I wave my hand up like I'm in school being called on. He looks at me and asks, "whats your name?" "___" "He reaches his hand out to shake mine and says "nice to meet you, ___ , I'll speak to you after the flight" "okay! but you gotta see me with nice clothes on and make up on and stuff! I look kinda crappy now" "oh thats ok, I dont even have a change of clothes<" he says. "YOU DONT NEED CLOTHES!" i call out as he walks back to his seat. Everyone on the plane in earshot laughs out loud. "Yep," Mr. Rowdy says, "shes goin to Vegas all right! You're definitely gonna have a good time"
I get off the plane and walk sloooowly hoping he'll come talk to me. But then I say to myself, oh please hes not coming, and we walk a little faster now. All of a sudden he come sup to me from behind. We trade numbers and I find out hes not even gonna be in Vegas! He's from North Carolina. I'll never see him again. But wait! I remember our plane has a layover on the way back at none other than Charlotte, NC where he's from! "let me see your tickets" he says as I find out he works for the airline. "If you remember me after your Vegas trip, I'll meet you at the gate in Charlotte."
We texted each other the whole trip, he met us at the gate with starbucks and upgraded our tickets to first class. I spent an hour with him and he sent me back to my gate as he was supposed to be working! He even had me paged at the gate where he called me on the phone. He was just so cute. "Hello Beautiful" I hear on the other end. He made me feel very special that day.
I have not stopped communication with him since the airport and he came to visit new years eve until tuesday night. My racist, prejudiced, homophobic, judgemental mother was staying with me until Sunday and she made is horrible. I thought for sure he would have left on Saturday. She wouldnt acknowledge him. Wouldnt say a word. We slept at my friends house Saturday night to be away from her. I had to leave him there where he was welcome while i taught Sunday School. When I came home, I got in a big fight with my mom as she tried to come up with reasons to hate him. "I cant believe you would bring home some random BLACK guy who is clearly only using you for sex! He'll probably get you pregnant or give you AIDS!" "HES NOT BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! H E IS NOT BLACK!!! Get it through your head! He's dominican! And so what if he WAS black? I thought he was black at first, didnt bother me!" I had to defend myself and him over and over and over. Yes i saw his ID, and I saw his badge at work, and he went to college, and he has his own money, and he bought you your sandwich, and works for the government for the airline therefor he is not a murderer, hes NOT BLACK, hes NOT a liar, hes NOT married, he is NOT using me for sex, etc etc. I was so mad at her I was screaming and crying and had to leave. She has now made it her mission to find something wrong with him.
My friends all tell me he's too young, or he's just a rebound guy, or he lives too far, it will never work, or this won't last so just have fun for now. My mother is clearly against it, and muffin man is freeeakking out. He wants me so badly now... please. Now that I am moving on you want me??? Seriously??? The other men in my life are all also very jealous. When he came to visit I was so happy. We both were! He makes me feel like a woman. He is the personality that he takes control with the "manly" things like driving and paying for things, and holds me when I cry, and tells me how beautiful I am. And he likes when I take care of him by making him dinner or giving him a vitamin or cuddling with him and warming him up when hes cold. When he left he sent me a text message that said "I need my vitamin" He said he wants me to come visit him so I can paint all day and rest. And let him take care of me.
This new guy is a dream. And the sex is incredible. He does all the things I have BEGGED the other guys to do and wouldnt do it or couldnt. He is rough and I love it! And he kisses me passionately. I know how he feels about me in his kiss. It changed as the days went on. He flew his sister up Monday night and we went out. The 2 of them have texted me "I miss you" and his sis said "he NEVER introduces me to any girls! I was shocked"
This week at work, the muffin man has been nasty because he is freaking out he's losing me and cant control his emotions. Well I told him, "guess what douchebag! This is how I have felt every single day the last two years of my life!" I had no desire to kiss him or touch him. The feelings dissipated. I'm so happy with the new guy I have no desire to lust after, love, or date anyone else. It was love at first sight...at the soda machine. (kidding) Not sure how to handle the mm at work though. He kissed me today and I was kind of MAD! I pulled away. I told him "how dare you. You want to pull me back to you to this dead end situation? and keep me in this pain when i found someone to make me happy?" he got mad and stormed away. I told him "too little, too late buddy. I told you you'd regret it."
I have never had so many people hating on my relationship with someone I am happy with! Not sure what to think of it. I had a good feeling in my gut about him and he told me his mother taught him to never pass up an opportunity because you never know what will happen. I am thankful he followed that advice. We make each other very happy. I will post the picture of us for a couple days and then I am taking it down. Tell me what you think.
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