I am so heartbroken. I love him from the very depths of my soul. I imagine kissing him, I yearn to be with him, even just to be in his presence. When he is near me I lose my breath. My thoughts erase when he looks in my eyes. His kisses sooth my wounded soul, when he holds my hand I feel secure, and when he is inside me I feel complete. He is everything I love in a man. He's sweet compassionate, he defends me, looks out for me, protects me, makes me laugh every day, he teaches me and guides me, he listens to me, he gives all he can, and makes me feel kike the most important person in the world.
Then there's his other life. Where he does the same for them. He's a damn good guy. And I just don't know what to do! Its too much for him and I know he is completely in love with me and doesn't want to lose me yet he is weighed down by having the double life.
What do I do? Should I move on? I try to but a moment without him in my life and I feel like I can't breath. I can't eat I can't move. I'm lost. but maybe I should force myself to go through it to better his life. I said I'd do anything for him so maybe I should move on for his sake?
I am desperate for his affection and lost without his love. He has me so deep. I truly truly love him. I want to be with him so badly but this pain is getting in our way!!
I can't keep crying over this man. He is wonderful and amazing. And love isn't even a strong enough word to describe how I feel. So sad. I love you muffin man. I really really do.
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4 comments:
I could have written this. I truly could have. His hands make me feel secure, he's compassionate, defends me, our love is so deep etc. etc. When we part (which is for long periods of time since he lives in Europe), I can't breathe. I can't smile. I can't function for several days. I cry in agony. We're both miserable and counting the days until we meet again. It's a hard life to live, but we choose it. Just know you're not alone. It helps to know it's not just me.
I am going through the same thing.
If I could move on, I would. So the advice I give you is to move on, if you can.
I can't though.
It's absolute torture. One day it will end, you know that, but you don't know How. Have you ever seen or met his wife? His kids?
It may help you to make your exit.
Secretia
I have never met his wife or kids. the sound of his wife's voice through the phone makes me utterly nauseous. not even exaggerating. and when i see their pictures, i get sick to my stomach. knowing he cant be with me because of them seeing their innocent faces having no clue their dad is in love with another woman... heart-wrenching. i try to block it out of my mind. and his kids are so cute!! and little sweethearts! bratty spoiled and adorable. like most kids. I dont mind him having kids he loves and adores, i mind the married part. i dont know what i want to do honestly...
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