I'm really getting sick and tired of this shit. He ignores me at work and accuses me of distracting him, which is fine, I understand u need to stay focused, but why can't he take me downstairs with him when he goes to get lunch? You can't talk to me for 5 fucking minutes? Are you too focused then? NO! Its just an excuse. He's full of them!! Bullshit excuses and lies. Ok so you don't wanna talk to me at work, how about after work? Oh yes that's right you can't talk to me then either, too busy. Weekends? Nope too busy! Well fuck you! If you aren't interested leave me alone!
But he never does! This is the bullshit he does. He gives just enough to keep me swooning, yet never enough to actually commit to anything. And when confronted, its another excuse. I'm so sick of it! Its nowhere near a 50/50 relationship. Its 80/20. I get the leftovers like I said. Not interested anymore. Just not interested. I can't keep pulling him, and drawing from him, and begging, and pleading... He's not worth it and I don't deserve it.
He not only rejects me, he insults my intelligence and adds insult to injury with his excuses. Ugh... So over it. Screw him.
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About Me
- whaatamithinking
- In a nutshell... I am hopelessly in love with a married man. I'd do anything and everything to be with him. I DONT hate my job anymore! Still hate the people I work with. They are selfish, competitive, and backstabbers. I have a 15 year old daughter who has more drama than me. I have to keep it together at work and home but sometimes I just can't hold in the cry. This is why I get crazy thoughts in my head every day... Like I just wanna stand up and scream!!! I have 4 jobs and work very very hard for my money and I WILL be successful because I am determined.
5 comments:
You don't deserve this much hurting. There is more of it coming too, as you know. Will it change, it's not real likely, so making alternate plans is the best idea.
You need a love who can give you his love back.
Secretia
Oh my God, it felt like I wrote this. Everything you have said is exactly what I am going through!!!
Why do they do this??
But they won't let us be either.
I am giving it right back to him now, just leaving him hanging as he does to me. The way I see it, if I try and convince myself he is a lower priority to me (as I am to him) I may start actually believing it. And tear myself away from the unfulfilling "relationship."
I will suggest though, if you are truly over it, how will you continue working at the same place? It won't work. You will have to completely remove yourself for your sanity. I'm your anonymous on the other side of things (married one w/single guy), but, since I'm a woman I think I have similar feelings as you, but, at the same time I feel it's a constant sense of having to please everyone all the time. I have to make my love feel secure, my family to feel loved and sometimes I think I just lose myself in it all. Your guy is selfish because I know I am sometimes. Being with my guy gives me what I need and am not getting at home. I'm the one hurting not being able to be with him. I know I'm giving him all my love. You seem to think your guy isn't...is he not as emotionally invested as you? Anyway, you're young and you do deserve someone's complete love. My guy does, too as much as I hate to admit. Fall in love with someone who is yours and yours only. As hard as it will be to move on.
my dear anonymous friends, can you leave an initial or something to call you when i respond to you? i love hearing from you. its so comforting to hear from you all. unfortunately i have only been able to go online through my phone and i cant access my comments. but i have a minute to say... thank you all for responding and i do have an update. i will be posting it shortly.
anonymous 1- i have an answer to why my muffin man did this. it will be in my next blog.
my married anonymous- i am not truly over it...
I have the exact same issue. I finally called it off, I just can't deal with it anymore. Just discovered you and am devouring these entries. I hope to find you later in a better place.
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