Well, we managed to not speak at all other than to say "so and so is on the phone." At the end of the day he sent me a text saying he cant work with me anymore and he was speaking to management on Monday. I started to cry because I have a very good chance of losing my job now. Also, I lost my best friend. So the HR lady saw me crying, asked me why, i told her it was him, she went in his office and he didn't tell her. He said later he doesnt want to have to do it but he cant work. If he hears my voice, or sees my email it makes min cry and he sits in a daze all day and cant function. AGAIN this is all MY fault. So I just lost it at punch out time. I couldnt stop crying. He sent me a text that said "maybe you should think long and hard about the decisions you've made and what effects they will have long term" so i said "maybe YOU should've, asshole! A. i already thought about it but it still hurts! B. you think if i kill it, you're not gonna still HATE ME? YOU'LL STIIIIILLL HATE ME!" The asshole writes back: "A. I really don't think you thought long and hard enough about the long term effects and B. No, I wouldnt still hate you"
you wouldnt still hate me??? so you DO hate me now right douche bag?? But if I murder a perfectly strong and healthy baby, oh well gee, then you'll be just so wonderful to me right? Oh how I long for the day when you dont hate me! Please let me worship you more than I already have! I'll just do anything for you! Why I'll even murder TWO babies! Just so you can continue to use me, disappoint me, lie to me, and treat me like shit! PLEASE CAN I KILL MY BABY FOR YOU? Its just the best thing in the world to do! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU SELFISH MANIPULATIVE LYING COWARDLY LITTLE MAN!
i answered him back "well thanks for the ultimatum." fuck him. I had my therapist tonight, thank god. She told me not to worry if i get fired it will set me free to find something i love. I can collect unemployment until I do. I can paint and sell my art for cash. I can be free of his stress and drama. I dont have to explain to anyone who the father is. Hell, I can walk right in there with my baby to say hello and watch him puke. (unless he miraculously changes by then) And since soemone who reads this knows who he is, you can come on in and say hi! How do you know him? or is it just from my blog? Im dying to know.
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1 comment:
I am sorry you are going through this. I am new to your blog, but I can already tell that you need to be free of this man. Maybe this is the universe's way of telling you it's time to move on - away from him - so you can move on to better things in your life. The ultimatum he gave you was so horribly manipulative and cruel. You should leave your job, cut all ties with him, and start a new life - a better life - without him. Hugs to you!
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