I've been really sick and tired lately. Been going to bed at 8 or 9 pm and taking naps throughout the day and evening. It's now 9:11 and I am ready for bed. I've been depressed too, thinking what am I gonna tell people and what are they gonna think? Well there are really only a couple people that matter. My daughter is one of them. She opened the Internet and my previous page came up... a conversation with someone that said you're pregnant with (so and so)'s baby again? So my daughter, being the most amazing child you could have, sent me a text "we need to talk." She held it in and didnt tell a soul. We talked about it Saturday and before she asked me anything or told me what she read she said "Mom, I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you. I wont judge you. Just please tell me whats going on." So I told her and it was like talking to a little adult. She said "Mom, please dont kill it. And please dont give it up for adoption, those kids have issues for the rest of their lives." How she is even knows this amazes me. I told my best friend Mike and my therapist and MM's therapist. I am yet to tell MM. He saw me at work 2 days ago and said "Did your stomach get a little bigger in the last week or so?" "You sayin I'm fat??" "No! I just know your body well and it looks a tiny bit bigger." Boy i was so tempted to say "um, put 2 and 2 together buddy! i sleep all afternoon at my desk, Im always nauseous with my ginger ale handy, I complain my boobs hurt plus they grew like an entire size and my stomach grew... think about it! But I just cant do it. Especially not at work. I have no idea when I'm gonna tell him. Not for 2 weeks since his therapist will be away next week. I am now 7 weeks. I had a dream Monday night that my daughter asked me if I had a name yet. I said yes. Noah. When I woke up I looked up the name. It means: comfort, peace, and rest. Due date is in October. Libra. The sign Libra represents "peace-maker" Coincidence? Dont think so. I will have to do my best to protect my little peace maker who will clearly bring me peace comfort and joy. I have no idea what MM is gonna do but I cant worry about it. He can choose to be a part of his life or not. His loss. Only time will tell what happens here...
I dont care at this point. As long as I feel peaceful about my decision and my daughter is happy and helpful, thats all that matters. the rest I can make work. God will help me for making the right choice. He did it when I had my daughter at 18.
On that note, time for bed...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
9 comments:
if uou have decided to keep the baby, wait until the longest possible time to tell mm, that way he wont be able to even THINK about pressuring you to abort the baby.
I would absolutely love to hear that he steps up and does the right thing by uou when he finds out he is going to be the father of your child. It was very easty for him before, having you on the side and going about his 'real' life. But now he will be forced to make a choice.
Klua
Yay thats one thing out of the way daughter is cool about it.
But let me tell you if he doesn't support, you really really need a DNA if he don't. Kids are expensive as heck and even after 18parents still pay stuff (like going out to dinner parents usually pay stuff like that).
Good luck keep us updated!
Linda
Wow, obviously MM is gonna know at some point. That ought to be interesting!
7 weeks would put you getting pregnant at the first of the year. Sounds like it's the other guys baby.
no, 7 weeks does not put me at the beginning of the month. When you are pregnant, they start with the first day of your last period. Which was Jan 15th. Then you count from there. Ovulation happens at 12-14 days after that first day. The only person I had sex with 12-14 days after my period was MM. I dont know why you keep insisting its the other guy's.
Klua and Linda thank you. I stayed home today from work. I didnt want to see him today and I dont feel well and I'm just really depressed. About everything.
I thought MM used to read your blog? Does he not? This will definitely prove if he is ready to step up or encourage you, yet again, to do something you do not want to repeat. I hope you wait to tell him and he doesn't find out sooner. Stick with YOUR decision. Your daughter is going through a lot, too. Don't forget that. She had to have been scared when you were scared about the other guy and stayed in her room. Now this. This is a lot for a young person. Reassure her and shower her with love daily. Then, together, love this new child. You'll be ok. It will eventually get better, though some days will be harder than others. Best wishes.
Am sorry love keep up the faith. I gotta tell ya I feel this baby is going to be a god send. The reason why that he pulled out but them burgers swam hard...
Like they say in court trials doesn't take much as you know.
It will be okay hun!!!
Linda
i hope you are feling ok sweetie.
we are here if you need a chat.
SA
thank you all. esp linda for that last comment. it really meant a lot. I wish you all lived close.
Post a Comment