my 100th post

this should be a good post then...
I wish I had more to say.  I have one more day without him and then I see him Friday at work. I miss him. But I'm fine without him. I spoke to the Dr's office today. Pregnancy numbers are perfect. Have an ultrasound scheduled for March 16, and more blood next week. I pretty much came to the conclusion after much heartache and mental battling that I cannot kill it. I just cant do it. I will have to suffer the consequences of having a baby. The more I thought about it the more I realized that he would be there for me. He will be there to help. He wont let me suffer alone. Just as he doesnt let me suffer heartache alone. He is always right there with me feeling what I feel, dealing with what I am dealing with, and being there as much as he can.  And it's not our fault. He didnt cum inside me! I am clearly extremely fertile.

Another thing I was thinking. When he and my daughters grandma convinced me to have an abortion, their reasons were the "inconvenience" it would cause, and how it would destroy lives. Well, I had my daughter as a senior in high school and what would you tell a HS student with her whole future ahead of her? Get rid of this baby, its a huge inconvenience, and it will destroy your life and future and strain everyone else's lives around you. Well, they couldnt have been more wrong. She has brought joy to so many people! Adults, kids her age, kids younger, older, my family, her fathers family, she saved mine and her fathers lives. We would have both commited suicide by now if it hadnt have been for her. And imagine the pain and devastation that would've caused on our families. She has been invited to vacations all over the country with families who just love her so much. They tell me how she is polite and kind and amusing and a joy. So dont you DARE tell me my little baby who didnt ask to be born would ruin lives, cause pain and suffering, and we'd all be better without him/her. And I say that to anyone who tries to tell me to kill another baby. Family, nurses, MM himself, anyone.  I cant hold the guilt of repercussions on HIS family for my choice. I can only think about my own family. And I will not be ruining lives. Ruining a life is what my dad did to my brother. Beat the shit out of him mentally emotionally and physically day in and day out until he finally had a nervous breakdown and ended up an alcoholic in a mental hospital! THAT is ruining a life. This baby will complicate things and change the course of destiny we all had planned for everyone, but ruin lives? no. Who doesnt look at a cute baby smiling at you and doesnt feel happy inside?

As for my whore "friend,"  she stopped to me and deleted me on fb and bbm. Like I am the one who did something wrong!! I couldnt believe her! That right there admits her guilt. What a loser. She was 46 sleeping with a 22 year old. Who is cheating on her friend with her. Good job. You are awesome. Here is a picture JUST FOR YOU...

What a twist in my soap opera huh? I thought I was moving on, then I end up pregnant, then I find out the new loser was cheating with my friend. Wow. Couldnt predict that...