The baby pic!

How amazingly cute is this baby??? its 3 inches long and absolutely perfect. The Dr kept going on and on telling me how the baby couldn't be more perfect and how beautiful it is.  I have some more pictures but I didn't want to put them all up. His/her left arm was up by the head and the right hand was by the mouth. The baby kept moving and clenching its hands and kicking up a storm. I brought my daughter and she was so excited. She loved seeing a human life inside me. We could see the baby swallowing and the heart beating. It's just a precious and perfect little gift from God. I'm in love.

To hell with the phony selfish coward.  MM has been given a new name from me. Sperm Donor. He's not a father and hes not my anything anymore. Hes like a ghost at work. We pass each other in the hall and pretend the other isnt there. Like a ghost. Its so sad! I wonder if he is sad at all. He claims he loved me but he doesnt act like it. He is the most selfish person I've ever met

oops! Did i post his picture???

this one makes me sad because this pic sums up our relationship. I adored him. 

. Yesterday was sperm donor's birthday. I sent him a text "happy birthday" and he didnt respond. Read the comments from my last post to see the last thing he sent me. Then he takes his wifes card and his daughters cards and displays them on his desk at work like he has the perfect family. And his wifes card had all this stuff written in it like how she loves his snoring etc etc. What a joke. It really hurt a lot. Hes been in love with me and writes me books in cards but now you wanna pretend your "working on your relationship" i guess? And he ignores me and the baby. Well not only did I display in a frame, the picture of my baby, but i sent him to his phone,  the same picture i just posted of the baby. No response of course but he's not gonna ignore it. FUCK HIM! I SO WISH someone would just send his wife all the cards he wrote me and the blogs i wrote about details of our relationship! How he told me he wanted to be with me but he couldnt and how unhappy he is and how she would call him and hed be naked with me while he lies through his teeth about being at the gym! And how he told me how he wanted to have a trial separation from her. God, I hate him! I hate him for lying to her and to me and for loving me and fucking denying it! Talk about the ultimate rejection! I mean its one thing to dump me but to completely deny you ever truly loved me just really hurts.

Everyone at work knows now. EVERYONE knows I'm pregnant and with him! Gossip gossip gossip. People cant get enough of our real life soap opera. I couldnt care less who knows and what they think of me. He, on the other hand, does. And I dont think anyone has confronted him yet. My 2 friends who are actually friends told me people were talkin about me. It ruins the fun of telling people I'm pregnant. But they all put 2 and 2 together! He has been so horrible to me and turned us into enemies they figure it out in 2 seconds! "OOOH!!!! No WONDER you 2 were fighting so badly! THAT'S what was going on! It all makes complete sense now!" I mean, people aren't stupid.

Regardless of the drama, my baby is perfect and precious and a gift from God. I have gone through hell to protect it and give it life. I knew from day one it was special when I prayed and asked God about it. God made this baby with a purpose, a name, and love and joy to spread. People are in love with the baby and it's just a tiny thing still! The ultrasound pics made so many people cry! I'm excited. We all know this will be very tough but I can handle it. I'm in love with someone new. Baby "Noah"