I can't get that stupid text out of my head. The one he sent saturday night that I "singlehandely managed to destroy his life." Not only do I feel guilt that I shouldn't, but I really loved him and still do. And all I wanted to do was be with him with all his baggage and take care of him. I was crazy about him. And he was crazy about me. I still worry about him and feel bad for him and I get depressed over it. I know I shouldn't but what if there is a chance the baby isn't even his? What if it really was that idiots? Then I couldn't live with myself. I'm a little nervous about that. Imagine I destroyed his life on somethin not even true? Although it IS true he slept with me. And that truth came out. Good! Fuck him. But ugh... I think too much I guess. And I think too much about HIM. It sucks. And what makes this worse is he is not moving to the other olocation til next monday. Which will also make me very sad to not see him. I just really miss working for him. I did so much for him and I actually enjoyed it. Now I sit and stare at the wall. And blog! I just really really miss him and our elationship. Now he just hates me! Its heart breaking.
Anyway thanks for the responses before. Much appreciated. :)
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About Me
- whaatamithinking
- In a nutshell... I am hopelessly in love with a married man. I'd do anything and everything to be with him. I DONT hate my job anymore! Still hate the people I work with. They are selfish, competitive, and backstabbers. I have a 15 year old daughter who has more drama than me. I have to keep it together at work and home but sometimes I just can't hold in the cry. This is why I get crazy thoughts in my head every day... Like I just wanna stand up and scream!!! I have 4 jobs and work very very hard for my money and I WILL be successful because I am determined.
7 comments:
Wait- so you do think there's a chance it's the other guy's??? Oh my... I agree with the other anon. comment- he's feeling anger now and then, hopefully, acceptance. He is just embarrassed that it is all out in the open everywhere- home and the office. Single-handedly was such a poor choice of words for him to choose. Remember and re-read that Valentine's Day card he gave you. He can't make all of that up! Hang in there.
The only reason I thought there was a slight chance it isn't his is bc I slept with the other guy jan 19th. Then this one the 23rd and again on the 26th. I was ovulating the 26th. So I'm pretty sure its his. However, the babys due date changed to a week earlier. I asked them if that has anything to do with the conception date and they said no. And if you calculate conceiving the 23rd the due date is oct 15th. So I'm pretty sure its his. I'm just nervous that there's a SLIGHT chance it may not be. And I'm freaking about something in my head. Thinking too far in advance.
did u reply to that horrible text?
I DID respond. I wrote back "YOU did it to yourself! How dare you!! Single handedly? That implies it was all me and you had nothing to do with anything. Un fuckin believable.
That's all. And he didn't respond.
Also, wht the heck was that youtube video? Ameobarecords? I don't get it.
the youtibe video is supposed to be a link for the edith piaf song: Non, Je ne regrette rien
if you dont know the song, google the words.
It was supposed to be a few words of encouragement for you but forget I even posted anything as the link and the guesture obviously didn't do what it was supposed to do for you :)
Well thank you! That was really sweet of you! I love chanting. Very positive stuff. But the youtube video ended up being some black girl doing a commercial. Try again! What's the name of the youtube video? I can look it up.
You took the pregnancy test of Feb 12th. They don't work until you are 4 weeks along, even the most sensitive kinds. So odds are you got pregnant mid January.
-Q
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