Remember when we were kids and the pinky swear was the biggest promise you could make someone? Well when muffin man was over the other night, which was the best night ever with him, we had a discussion. I told him what I need from him and he told me what bothered him. "Can you please try to keep some things to yourself? Like, you don't have to tell me every thought that comes to your head when its something that's gonna upset me." "Ok," I responded, "and you need to open up more, and tell me how you feel about me and speak the thoughts that come to your head!" "Can you please work on it though?" He asked. I held my hand out to shake his hand and said "I promise I will do my best" "really?" "Really! I promise you!" He held out his pinky and said "pinky swear?" "Yes! Pinky swear! And you pinky swear you'll open up more" "ok" we shook pinky fingers, and made a promise.
Friday at work one of the guys, a kid really, was telling us about his vacation he was about to go on with his girlfriend. Mm was asking him lots of questions and the first thought that came to my head was "god do I wish I could go on vacation with him" the second was "I really hope he's not thinking about his family when talking about this with me in the conversation!!" I wanted to say "oh great! You should bring your wife!" But I remembered my pinky swear and said nope! I need to bite my tongue here. I made a promise. Then I thought to myself... Um... He hasn't said anything to me. I hope he keeps his promise too. So later I called him and said, "um I just want you to know I kept my promise..." I told him I didn't say anything, and he of course wanted me to tell him what I wanted to say. The problem is that he didn't realize I was making a point so he'd remember his promise! But today, he barely said two words to me and I just ignored him all day.
You don't break a pinky swear! But I guess it meant nothing to him. Just like promising to take me out for my birthday. STIIILL WAITING! I'm gonna have to tell him, no sex until you take me out! Fuck that! He is so bad at keeping promises. Is that something I can accept for the rest of my life? Doubtful. It hurts...
What an ass...
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About Me
- whaatamithinking
- In a nutshell... I am hopelessly in love with a married man. I'd do anything and everything to be with him. I DONT hate my job anymore! Still hate the people I work with. They are selfish, competitive, and backstabbers. I have a 15 year old daughter who has more drama than me. I have to keep it together at work and home but sometimes I just can't hold in the cry. This is why I get crazy thoughts in my head every day... Like I just wanna stand up and scream!!! I have 4 jobs and work very very hard for my money and I WILL be successful because I am determined.
6 comments:
I am with you 10000% on this one!!!! They are all the same aren't they??? Jerks lol!
My relationship with my mm is soooo similar to this. A roller coaster. The highs are phenomenal- nothing beats them.
But the lows are heart breaking. Truly enough to make me start thinking dangerous thoughts. it kills me inside.
I am thinking of ending my 4 yar relationship cos the lows are starting to outnumber the highs. And I mean really outnumber them.
I hope muffin man gets his act together soon and treats you the way you deserve!! Much love!
SA
Oh and I hate when men ask us to keep our feelings/ comments to ourselves more.
Why the heck should we??? This is our life, they are our feelings o why should they come second to what they want???
Men!!
SA
You are having so much fun with the Muffin Man!
Secretia
Maybe he thought the thoughts weren't that important nor was it the place to speak them out loud.
Men communicate differently than us and certainly have a different attitude about opening up. Doesn't mean he doesn't want to, but trying involves effort and changes of behaviour that aren't instant! I know about that, as it's always been my problem.
Sa- maybe you should move on i dont know... why waste your life on someone who doesnt care enough to make a choice?? thats what ill do soon. either choose me or dont. at least I know my mm is in love with me. i MAKE him talk to me.
Secretia- i am! :-)
Spring flower- you are so right. he told me to pay attention how he expresses his love for me in bed and in the little things, that hes bad with words but tries to show me in many other ways.
ps- i added photos to my picture show blog
U move on when you think the time is right SF.
My MM has little children, I suppose it is a bit different. But I told him today that I am moving on. Just thought I would share with you so you don't feel so alone.
SA
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