It really bothers me that I have mm in the forefront of my mind every day. When I make plans he's the one I want to be with. And I rearrange my entire schedule to be with him. If he gives me a maybe, I wait.
I view myself as pathetic. Today he told me I remind him of the girl in "he's just not that into you" who doesn't get men at all. The one who is.... Pathetic!! The one who calls the guy for guy advice. She's so cute but in my opinion, pathetic. He told me that's not how he sees her but sees her as someone who isn't afraid to put herself out there and open her heart or something like that. But as soon as he said that I started to cry! Because his view and my view of the same girl are totally different. I took it as a complete insult.
But look at me! Here I am putting myself out there pathetically waiting on him to give me an answer. And if I don't wait, and go ahead and make ans, my opportunity is missed. We may as well break it off. Which in my opinion will happen soon. When he makes comments like "its getting harder and harder to get away" that says to me our time will be less and less. We won't grow closer. Even though he says every time were together it gets better and better. He's probably just talking about sex anyway.
Just not happy today.
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4 comments:
U deserve better than this.
I know you love him but you deserve someone who will give you 100%. I hope you find true love with someone available. U are worth it and will be much much happier when you do.
I agree with anonymous here... I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but the kind of relation you have with mm shouldn't be the rock to build your life on. I know you both love each other, but being with a married man is exactly what it is...
When you're in love, you're willing to make plans around that person and forget about yourself. I'm the same. Or was. Whatever.
Keep your chin up. Live for what you have, not for what you don't have.
Get rid of the hurt and pain that this relationship causes you. It is obvious from your posts that he causes more sadness than happiness.
It sont end wel either- these things never do. Find yourself someone who will be there at all times! the previous commenters are right! You are worth more than someone's second best.
D
This is so not worth it. You deserve better. The problem with this is you will regret this as you get older and are in the same situation. All those years wasted on a man who couldn't commit to you. Is it really worth it ? Are you okay with the fact that you may be left alone in the future with nothing to show for your loyalty to this one man ?
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