my birthday

This morning I had finally picked out an outfit. I was wearing black pants and a cool purple v-neck low cut sweater that was short sleeved but came to my elbows. The material is soft almost as soft as cashmere. It wasn't really sexy but you could see my shape. I was ready to go when my phone buzzed with a message. It was an email notification that violet vamp commented on my blog. I read it, and it was the fourth comment telling me to go for the hot lunch sex. So I figured you all knew what you were talking about and quickly changed into my easy access dress and boots. Just in case I was in the mood.

So I got to work, had a really nice morning, everyone was very nice and wished me a happy birthday. My boss was extra nice and knew I was going out to lunch with muffin man so she let me take longer than an hour. We both were really sensitive today. My ex called me ad sang to me. Total shocker. I truly loved him deeply, and he actually made me cry. I miss someone making me feel so amazing every minute they talked to me. That's the one thing mm lacks. He needs to be more verbal. Anyway, his mother called him right as we were about to leave and discussed the condition of his father with him. So he was on the verge of tears, worrying about him and her, and I was wiping my tears. Great way to start lunch huh? Needless to say, we opted for food.

We went to the place we always go to. Poor thing was crying talking about his dad on the way there. Not wanting to ruin my day he tried to push it aside as to not upset me. But when we got to the table, I asked him where he wanted to sit, we both wanted the chair that faces your back to the room. But for two totally different reasons. I wanted to face him and see only him because I didn't care about anyone else and I didn't want to be distracted. HE, however, didn't want anyone he knew to see him because he can't hide his emotions with me. Boom! Right there the tears started. That is the most painful thing about being in this situation. I actually thought he wanted that seat for the same reason as me. Of course as you can imagine, he felt awful about that asinine move.

Well we got to talking, it was pretty heavy. He told me about his relationship with his dad, some bad things and some good. And we compared dads. I talked about my sister and brothers becoming alcoholics because of my dad's abuse... As I got tipsy on wine. Then we discussed what I wanted to do for my birthday this saturday. And then he gave me my card. I was shocked. I really expected him to be like last year and have nothing for me but this year he was so different. He gave me a card so perfect for me and wrote a page and a half! This is monumental for him. I will post his card tomorrow. Its getting late. But after I read it, I said it was the best card I ever got. I was really really happy. I mean, he really loves me. And he struggles on a daily basis. He's not a typical "cheater" who sought out some action on the side. He fell into this. Not that he was innocent but he was unprepared and blind sided when his feelings kicked in so quickly.

When we got in the car, he gave me my necklace I wanted the link to the picture of it is posted in the blog "the roller coaster rides" if you are interested in seeing it. I was really happy. I put it on and told him I will wear it every day. Its a key in the shape of a heart. He asked me later "is that supposed to represent th key to your heart?" "Absolutely!" I told him. He smiled.

I gave him a hug before I left. I never got to kiss him, I kissed him on the cheek in the car after I put my necklace on. I wreaked of wine and was kinda drunk when I got back to work. Oops! :) the rest of my birthday was great too. My daughter wrote me a beautiful card, and made me a special gift, and grandma and grandpa gave me beautiful gifts. And grandma and my daughter and I went out for dinner where my daughter made a point to tell me that all the guys were checking me out and talking about me as I walked by. Remember I did dress sexy today...

All in all it was a great day. He really made me feel special. And tonight, I reread that card, sober, and it was amazing. He poured his heart out. I truly love this man.