couldnt stop crying all day... i dont know what to do. i am SO SO SO in love with him. and i want to save myself from the dead end ahead but i still have this hope that i will get to be with him. but in the meantime i am in so much pain as well as being so amazingly in love. I dont know what to do. i just dont know what to do.
why cant i have what i want? why? i always do for everyone else and never for me. ive never had what i wanted ever! and the one thing i want, the one thing i want is to be with him. ive never wanted anyone or anything so badly in my life. and i cant have him.
this is why i want to escape from this life and start over. but i wonder if i would play the cards dealt to me the same exact way...
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5 comments:
We always want what we can't have, don't you think? I understand from your previous post that it's him you want, no one else. Probably doesn't make it easy that you work with him.
Would you wait for him? No matter how long it takes? For me, to have my lover in my life, even if only secretly, is better than not have him at all. (talking about the one on a break)
I still have those periods of intense sadness, I know how you feel ~ will it get better? It's up to you.
Hugs!
Its like I have written this myself.
SA
Good luck in dealing with such a painful experience. And don't feel bad about crying. It's natural to cry after feeling such hurt. I just hope that things will get better for you in the future.
FD
I'm not sure where to begin or how to word it..
being involved with a married man, I knew from the beginning he would never leave his family to be with me, nor did I expect him to do so... I admit that I've had the fantasy and did the wondering of how it would be.. but then I recovered and knew that it is just an affair between us.. we give each other what is missing in our lives... There are times when I ask myself if I really would want him to leave his wife to be with me because he could meet someone else and then leave me too...
I don't want you to hurt!!! I'm so sorry!!! You deserve to be loved and cherished. Only you can decide if you can settle for this relationship.
Hugs,
kitten
I'm sure it's not easy for him either, he's probably feeling/thinking just as trapped as you are.
As a husband and father in a "loose" ('open' isn't exactly the right word for it) marriage I can attest to that. I just lost a relationship with a wonderful woman because I couldn't commit to her in the way she needed and deserved. It's been ingrained into me that taking care of family comes first, that you aren't a 'man' if you don't, that I would never put my own happiness first.
She didn't stick around and I can't say as I blame her.
Trust me, it's not easy for anyone.
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